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Teenage Rebellion ... My Heart Goes Out To You!
Posted by Barbara Smith (BWSmith)
This message was originally posted on
Christian Homeschool Fellowship on the Web

My heart goes out to you — and to your daughter! May God quickly bring her to repentance and reconciliation. I don't know what you mean by total rebellion — has she left your home or is she fighting within the confines of your authority?

***"This is what the LORD says: "Maintain justice and do what is right, for my salvation is close at hand and my righteousness will soon be revealed."(Isaiah 56:1

*** "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame."

Do you believe the Lord Jesus has the power to overrule your rebel? Then pray and * Persist!*

Our pastor said, "Christians don't have ‘problems.'" Rather we have opportunities to see God's loving plans. Some "opportunities" seem to overwhelm us, though, don't they?

Remember: Temper doesn't unnerve Jesus. He called James and John, the "sons of thunder" (Mark 3:17) to walk with Him. Selfishness and dishonesty don't surprise Him. He called Levi, the tax gatherer to follow Him, and invited the greedy Zacchaeus to climb down from the tree and get ready for a visit! Rejection doesn't dissuade Him, either! Remember Peter? Pride doesn't keep Him from choosing whom He will.

Remember Paul?

When disappointment and defeat loom large, no child is beyond Christ's saving arm; no sin of which my children or I am capable overwhelms Jesus. Who is better able to care for the young woman who is prickly with selfishness; who is unpredictable and volatile; or, who is petulant or defiant? Who better than our Lord to change our children and equip them for service - and enable us to do our part?

The woman at the well was somebody's daughter— and Jesus kept HIS appointment with her — HE WILL KEEP HIS appointment with your daughter! The Lord God says we establish great works "Not by might, not by power, but by my Spirit." (Zechariah 4:6)

Remember no rebel ever outfoxed God! But watching our loved ones continue in misguided, unwise, foolish and willful actions is heartbreaking -- and I know how you feel, friend! If she is kicking against Scripture — resisting the 10 Commandments, you must believe that God will direct your prayers and your actions — if you are seeking HIS Kingdom, and not your own comfort — HE will give you whatever you ask — but not always so easily. Pray that the BLOOD of Jesus Christ separates her from any hold the enemy has upon her — that the Holy Spirit come upon her convicting of her of her sin and need for Jesus — and that God is as merciful to her as HE has been to you. You don't need to know every detail of her struggles, our Father knows and HE loves her better than you.

When we let go of our children, if we release them to their FATHER -- HE will not lose them -- but HE will deal with them and that can be scarey! One single mother told a rebel son — I am turning you over to your heavenly Father to discipline and correct and convince you. Within a week the young man was back, begging for her authority. DON'T GIVE UP if you are enforcing God's Standards — and pray that HE would give her a clear conscience and a pure heart — and one for yourself, too ;0) Even though 16 may seem like a woman, the law (your state) may hold you responsible — so be careful before throwing in the towel.

We finally went to the pastor of our church and had a family meeting — we had to rely on a gracious third party — who had the authority to discipline all of us for unseemly behavior. He pointed out to all of us that our "rebel" would one day parent our grandchildren — how we reconciled our differences and submitted one to another out of reverence for Christ was very important.

Our pattern is always our Lord and Savior — He went to the CROSS while we were yet sinners. When our children offend us, we must tell them that their offense is against God — Therefore, we need to be wise and see whose ox is really being gored.

IF she is lying, stealing, breaking the commandments, tell her the truth: "She has the power to maker family life a living hell — She can wreck every relationship in her family — she *can* wreck her parents." But if she has given herself over to the enemy, you intend to fight for her — physically as long as she is your legal responsibility — and spiritually for the rest of your life — you will continue to wage war on your knees. She can walk out of your door — that is true, tell her. But if Social Services picks her up — she will loose big-time until she is of age. If someone else picks her up, she may lose more than she bargains for. If she walks out, she will not walk back through except on the Lord's terms — period.

If she has walked out, at 16, she may have some very unpleasant surprises — If she is contemplating leaving home early, remind her (with kindness) that the juvenile authorities may not agree with her desires, and place her in protective custody until she is 18. You and her father might not be able to help her get out of "foster care."

Tempting as it is to show a rebel the door, until they are "adult" it is wise to stifle that impulse. Your comfort — and I know your heart is breaking! — is that you are pleasing GOD by sticking to your guns with a minor child: "Therefore the LORD God of Israel declares, 'I did indeed say that your house and the house of your father should walk before Me forever'; but now the LORD declares, 'Far be it from Me-- for those who honor Me I will honor, and those who despise Me will be lightly esteemed. (1 Sam 2:30)

No one ever brought ANYONE to repentance! That is God's speciality! If she is just driving you nuts with childish, mean-spirited behavior and is not breaking the commandments — but is violating your personal peace — again, HANG-ON, while she is still under age — Telling her the truth — she has the power to destroy. Ask her how she wants to use it?


© Barbara W. Smith 1998, all rights reserved
Permission is given to reprint any of Barbara's articles in non-profit publications as long as the article is reprinted in full and contains the copyright information and Web site address.

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Arnold, MD 21012

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